Sunday, March 20, 2011

14 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries

14 Worst Celebrity Plastic Surgeries

In the last several decades, cosmetic surgery has become more acceptable and more accessible. Not longer is it a procedure reserved only for wealthy old women, and most celebrities are guilty of having at least one or two procedures. The goal for most is to make oneself look younger. But every once in a while the individual can go overboard, have a botched surgery, or develop an addiction to plastic surgery procedures. Below is a list of the fourteen worst examples of celebrity plastic surgeries.

01. Nadya Suleman "Octomon"
Overnight celebrity is something reserved for truly “Great” Americans. In addition to having fourteen children, and selling her birth video for street cred, Sulemon had procedures in order to look more like Angelina Jolie. The surgery was performed shortly before becoming artificially inseminated – a sort of pre-pregnancy procedure, if you will. Can’t you just picture her singing,  “…Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted-one moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?”


02. Michael Jackson
The self-proclaimed “King of Pop” has given up this title in favor of becoming the new,”King of Plastipop.” Recently, Michael made a public appearance in London to announce to his fans that “THIS IS IT!” We could only have hoped that he meant plastic surgery.  Unfortunately, we all know the only reason why he is touring again is to fund his addiction to detachable noses and chins.

03. Joan Rivers
Supposedly Joan Rivers is a comedienne. You know, a woman that makes jokes. Unfortunately, the only way Ms. Rivers has made America laugh is by continuing to inject Botox into every part of her face. Rumor has it, just before the Oscar Red Carpet Show this year, Joan went into for her weekly injection. As she walked out of the surgeon’s office she tripped and fell, as her head hit the ground her entire face popped like a zit. Fortunately for us, surgeons were able to put her back together again in under an hour, the final result is what you see above.


04. Sophia Loren
Sophia Loren was not only the most beautiful woman of her generation, but one of the most beautiful of all time.  It is understood that she would do anything to keep her beauty as she aged; unfortunately she went to the same plastic surgeon that works on the Crypt Keeper. I wonder if the same puppeteers help her walk and talk too?


05. Kenny Rogers
What posses a man as cool as “The Gambler” to do something like this to his face? Maybe he lost a bet with the devil…makes sense, right? Couldn’t he have just shaved his head per Larry Bird? Poor guy, now he is doomed to permanently wear that Asian smirk on his face for the rest of his mortal days.


06. Lisa Rinna
I wonder what Lisa’s surgeon thought of her when she came to him with a pair of Halloween wax lips, and said, “I want this on my face…NOW!” Either way, you can tell how proud she is with her new lips with all the toner and big earrings she’s wearing.
 
07. Linda Evans
Who asks their plastic surgeon, “I want to look like a cross between Murphy Brown and Martha Stewart.” Linda Evans does, that’s who.

08. Nikki Cox
Has Nikki Cox been hanging out with or dating Chris Brown? If that is not a fat lip from an abusive relationship, then I don’t know what is. In any case, we all know Nikki Cox is at that age with plastic surgery where many of her peers start heading toward the bug zapper like curious moths. Turn Away Nikki…TURN AWAY!
 
09. Cher
Cher has been perfecting the art of facial (de)constructive surgery since her nose job in the late 60′s. This equates to nearly 40 years of rearranging her face to look acceptable. So our hat goes off to her because of her dedication. But, she still looks bad.


10. Donatella Versace

Donatella’s late brother Gianni Versace played a horrible joke on her by directing her to Italy’s top transsexual plastic surgeon. Like a good little sister, she followed his advice and came out looking like this (right).

11.Janice Dickenson
Janice Dickenson is widely considered the world’s first supermodel.  While ruling the fashion world in the late 70′s and early 80′s, she fell head over heals in love with Steven Tyler. He ended up breaking her heart and this is how she decided to get back at him:  to spend the next twenty years and countless millions of dollars getting cosmetic procedures in order to look just like him.


12. Fergie
Anyone remember when Fergie was in the 90′s girl group Wild Orchid? Didn’t think so. So for all you aspiring female pop singers out there – if you want to make it big, do not rule out the option of getting plastic surgery to make you look like a man. This has worked Fergie.


13. Carrot Top
During the height of his career, Carrot Top was considered the most popular comedian among the American college-age demographic. This was shortly before he started using steroids, and began getting plastic surgery aimed at making him resemble a frightened woman. The eyeliner is just an extra bonus.



14. Jocelyn Wildenstein
In the late 1970s, the young socialite Wildenstein found her husband in bed with another woman. Instead of divorcing her extremely wealthy husband, and taking half of his fortune, she decided to try and transform herself into the woman who she thought her husband would love for her asethetic qualities. Unfortunately for herself – and for her husband, and cameras -  she ended up looking like a bloated corpse.