Tips to remember people's names
Two strangers meet at a networking function. One person speaks up first. "Hi, I'm Laura Mulford," she says, offering her hand to her new acquaintance.
"Susan Black-Smith," she responds with a handshake. "Nice to meet you." The whole exchange takes less than four seconds. However, ten minutes later neither person can remember the other’s name.Ah, names. Some people have a gift for remembering them. But for far too many of us, they go in one ear and right out the other. Unfortunately, referring to everyone as "hey" or "you" can be suicide when it comes to networking.
"In networking, names and using someone’s name is the key. It will be mighty difficult for you to initiate a relationship with someone if you don't know that person's name.
If remembering others' names is downright impossible for you, try out these tips:
1. Repeat the first name or confirm the last name.
Simply saying, "It's nice to meet you, Chuck" or "and your last name was...?" will help you register the name and give it a better chance to implant itself into your memory.
2. Ask a question or make a comment about the person's name.
"Nice to meet you, Julia. My college roommate's name was Julia, so I'll have no problem remembering you."
3. Ask the person to spell his or her name.
"Abby, do you spell your name with a 'y' or with an 'ie'?"
4. Associate the name with a picture in your mind.
If you meet a CEO named Arthur, visualize him as King Arthur with the Knights of the Round Table. Some people like this technique; others say it confuses them, so only use it if it's helpful.
5. Ask how the person got his name.
"Savannah, were you named after the city?"
6. Tell the person what you have heard about him.
"I heard you organized this whole event, Peter."
7. Keep your energy level high.
Let your body language and tone of voice signal that you are honestly trying to learn the other person's name and teach her yours.
8. Always say the person's name again as you leave her.
"It was good to meet you, Jen."
9. Handle forgotten names with grace.
Whining about how bad you are with names is not graceful. Instead, ask a friend to remind you, or if you can recall where you met that person, say , "I remember meeting you at the conference in Seattle. I'm Sarah Ansari. Will you tell me your name again?" The person may have forgotten your name, too, and will be grateful for your re-introduction.
Instead of merely listening to the faint sound of a name, focus on hearing it clearly and concentrate on firmly implanting it on your memory.
Repeatedly say the name many times over in your mind. If possible, use the name as often as possible. You can tell your friend now, and then your sister later: “I’ve just met Jonathan Nowitzki.” You can also make a comment about his name: “I have a former classmate named Mark Nowitzki who is very good in electronics. Do you know him?”
After hearing the name, write it down several times. By doing this, you are acquiring the benefit of a double sense impression, adding eye impression to ear impression.
When you hear the name of a person being spoken, look purposefully at the person bearing it. By doing this, you are connecting the name and the face together in your mind at the same time. The next time you forget the name, just recall the face and you might have a good chance of remembering it.
Visualize the name as an object in your mind. See the name’s letters in your mind’s eye, as an image or picture. Exaggerate it as much as you can. You can imagine the name “Nowitzki” in your mind as a big hairy object with 3 eyes and with spikes all over it. For a clearer image, visualize Mr. Nowitzki himself lifting the giant word “Nowitzi” over his head, like a weightlifter lifting a barbell. The more exaggerated or humorous, the better chances it will get stuck in your mind.
Connect a new person with a well-remembered individual of the same name. Associate a new Mr. Coppenhagen with an old customer of the same name. When you see the new man, you would think of the old one, and the name would flash into your mind. You can even visualize the 2 Coppenhagens attached to each other like Siamese Twins, to trigger the thought that they have the same name.
Reminisce the atmosphere or environment. Recalling what you felt or what you did, when you met a person, could trigger memories of how he or she was introduced to you, how he or she looked like, and other aspects regarding the person.
Analyze the distinctive features of the person’s face. Notice what makes that individual stand out or different from the rest. You may notice the eyes, nose, ears, lips, hair, or other parts of the face. Such notice and recognition tend to induce an interest in the subject of features. It forces you to focus on the person’s face the first time you meet him or her. Right now, you know the importance of having interest to remember things. If you were introduced to a man who would pay you over $500 on your next meeting, you would be very inclined to memorize his name and to study his face carefully to recognize him, as opposed to a man who has nothing to give to you.
Link a name with a visual object. Let’s say you just met Mr. Quinlan. To remember his name, you can visualize a land full of queens (Quinlan). Imagine the queens dressed in elegant dresses and wearing shiny crowns with big jewels. If Mr. Quinlan is interested in basketball and you want to remember that too, then imagine the queens wearing basketball uniforms over their elegant dresses, and shooting hoops. And if Mr. Quinlan is also a doctor, then visualize the queens in basket ball uniforms, having large stethoscopes around their necks, shooting hoops. You can even imagine the queens saying in a bugs bunny-like way, “Nyieh. What’s up doc?” The funnier, the better. Here’s another example, but this time with a longer name. Let’s say you’ve been introduced to Mary Bennetton. Now how do you remember “Bennetton?” You can divide it into “Bend-a-ton.” Imagine a large piece of metal with the words “1 ton” engraved at all its sides bending like a soft pillow. You can exaggerate it a little bit by making that piece of metal cry in agony as the bending is taking place. If Ms. Bennetton is a tennis player, you can imagine the bending piece of metal having tennis rackets stuck on top of its head.
Visualize the faces of persons you have met during the day, in the evening. Try to develop the faculty of visualizing their features to practice your ability. Draw them in your mind and see them with your mind’s eye, until you can visualize the features of very old friends. Then do the same with acquaintances, and so on, until you are able to visualize the features of every one you know. Then start to add to your list by recalling the features of strangers whom you meet. By a little practice of this kind you will develop a great interest in faces and your memory of them, and the power to recall them will increase rapidly.
