How To Get Her Attention In 3 Easy Steps
Avoid Common Mistakes And Get Her To Notice You
There are countless men out there who just cannot seem to get her attention. The proverbial awesome woman that guys cannot get out of their head - she is intelligent, beautiful and witty, and for some reason you have been unsuccessful in getting her to notice you. Maybe you have taken advice from your buddies, or you have done the play-by-play suggested in men’s magazines, to no avail. Here are some helpful tips from women that are sure to get her attention and do not include the bravado or chest thumping typically recommended by other men.
1. Be Sincere
It has been said many times: lines don’t work and neither does blatant flirtation. If you approach a woman by dropping lines and throwing compliments at her as if they were going out of style, she is immediately going to know that you are not genuine and that your compliments are in no way sincere. Women know that it takes a lot for a guy to approach them; you don’t have to hit us over the head with flirtation for us to understand what’s going on. Drop the shtick: no sexual innuendo, no pick up lines - be more subtle than that. Do you want to know the real secret to get her attention? Charm - it is all about charm. A study conducted by the University of Waterloo found that 85% of correspondents (both men and women) expressed that charm was the principle reason for their attraction to an individual. Surely, many of you are thinking that you are not the charming, debonair type – no problem! Charm comes in many different forms and if you are genuinely being respectful and show interest in a girl, she is going to take notice and will likely think that it is endearing.
If you really want to make an impression, your best bet is making eye contact with her and if you are really feeling courageous and willing to go the extra mile, try catching her eye from across the room or when you know no one else is looking. It will surely get a smile out of her and it will clearly send the message that you are interested. Eye contact during conversation is also very important because it conveys that she has your full and undivided attention and that you think what she is saying is important. Also, when you are chatting with her and making eye contact, you may feel compelled to pay her a compliment; be careful of the type of compliments you give because both your choice of words and the compliment itself can be very telling to women. Linda Sears, a relationship expert in the Los Angeles area, has a few tips for those who are not charm-inclined. The most important tip is learning to recognize the very distinct, yet subtle difference between charm and flattery. Sears believes that “flattery means you have an obvious agenda, like, ‘I’ll compliment you so that I can eventually get what I want,’ that’s not the message you want to be send,” Sears said. Charm is more genuine, it is giving a compliment simply for the sake of giving a compliment. You want nothing in return, you just want to make her feel good. It is also very important that you do not make the fatal mistake of confusing charm for cockiness. Men who are cocky tend to be overly-aggressive and use loads of inappropriate sexual innuendo that will do nothing but make her realize how uninterested she is in him.
2. Go Beyond the Obvious
When thinking of ways to get her attention, you are going to have to make it obvious that you have an interest in her. We all know that men are visual creatures and while it is a great compliment when you tell her she is beautiful, it takes more than that to form a relationship and it is definitely going to take more than thinking she is pretty to make her take you seriously. If you are really interested and really want to get her attention, have conversations with her that go beyond flirtation and the goal of trying to get a date. Find out what makes her tick - what are her interests and how does she spend her weekends? Find out what the two of you have in common and attempt to build on that. Maybe she loves to go to the opera and she can’t get any of her friends to go with her, maybe there is a particular exhibit at a local museum she has been dying to attend, but does not want to go alone. This is the perfect time to illustrate to her how interested you are without having to verbalize it, which could be awkward in the beginning. “If you take an interest in the things she enjoys, it gives you the opportunity to get to know her in a very personal way - a way that you would not become accustomed to otherwise,” Sears said. Any opportunity that you can take to convey to her that you are genuinely interested and that you care enough to take an interest in the things she loves will always prove to be worth it in the long run.If you are really interested in forging a bond with this woman that goes beyond the trivial, don’t take her to places like bars or clubs on your first date. The idea of having to lean in and shout out conversations over the noise of drunken patrons and loud, bad music is never appealing to any woman worth your time. Intimate settings that allow you to interact with one another and talk freely are always the best choice in the beginning when you are still getting to know each other. Many men make the common mistake of picking inappropriate first dates. Dinner and a movie is always an easy and tempting fix, but if you think about it, it is better suited for two people who have been in a relationship for a while and are capable of feeling totally comfortable with one another, as opposed to having first date jitters and being terrified of long, awkward silences. For many women, a first date that includes dinner can feel like a job interview where you are forced to present your best side and go through a laundry list of your likes, dislikes and past experiences. The goal is to be able to comfortably talk, have fun and interact with each other as much as possible. “If you are sitting in a quiet movie theatre with her, there is very little chance to create a connection. It’s kind of silly, but I would suggest something like bowling- it’s fun and it will give you a lot of one-on-one time together,” Sears said.
3. Nice Guys Don’t Finish Last
Chances are that if the girl you are interested in is attractive, intelligent, funny, interesting and single - you will have competition. Whether she is at work or at play, there are guys vying for a chance to talk to her or go out with her. So, how do you separate yourself from the pack and be the one to get her attention? The best advice is not to lose your cool. You may encounter men who seem to be pursuing her more aggressively or men who you perceive to be better off than you - don’t worry. If she is the kind of woman you are hoping she is, she will be able to see through the guys who are not being genuine with her and she will truly appreciate you for being respectful of her space and for showing that you are interested in her in a more subtle, romantic way.Men are constantly inundated with images of women falling for the bad guy - the bad boy musician who gets the beautiful girl to fall in love with him, despite cheating on her. The movies that depict women who have hearts of gold, unable to pull themselves away from the emotionally unavailable men who take them for granted. It is important to remember that these scenarios are not realistic and that the type of woman who allows this behavior from her partner is probably not the type of women you want to pursue. Most importantly, don’t become discouraged; nice guys do get the girl and they often end up in happy, healthy, loving relationships.